A friend of mine and I often discuss—usually after a few beers—how badass our fathers are. Yours probably is too. Think about it. He wasn’t always “dad.” At some point in the space-time continuum, he was just a guy; a guy who listened to rock music, played stick ball, loved Star Wars, drank shitty beer and wouldn’t hesitate to throw down in defense of his friends or his girl. Your dad didn’t listen to Clapton or The Stones because it was “classic” rock, he listened to it was rock and it kicked ass. He didn’t drink PBR , wear Chucks and ringer-tees because they were “vintage,” he did it because that’s just how he lived.
That’s why I was psyched when I came across Dad’s Are The Original Hipsters a website dedicated to proving that anything awesome you’ve done, your old man has done already—and done with style.
You hipsters couldn’t sip from the same mug as your father. Your coffee is sweetened with unrefined sugar from a fair trade farm in small town South America where the workers are paid a living wage. His was black. You top off your lattes with a non-fat, non-dairy, soy, vegan foam. Your dad doesn’t know what a fucking latte is, nor does he give a shit to find out. He drank coffee to wake up, not so he could have a free place to steal internet while bitching about all the political change that needs to happen. So hipsters, next time you want to be a perennial bad-ass, reach for some Folgers and harden the fuck up.
Some of my favorites things “Dad Did before You”
Didn’t Give a Fuck
Wore Chuck Taylors
Had Unkempt hair